Accountability

So far this posting twice a week thing isn't working out so well.  I also completely went against my instincts and told my husband I had started a blog.  So when the Captain mentioned that I hadn't posted anything recently, I hesitantly asked what he meant.  His response? "You haven't posted since the Manolo thing. I check daily."  Ooops.  Without anyone reading I didn't have anyone to be accountable to.  If I have a reader though (even if he does share a bed with me) I guess that is the motivation I need to try and post more often.

That also made me start to think about my new responsibilities and the changes that meant in my personal accountability.  As children, you answer to your parents, teachers, older relatives.  When you become an adult that changes - you have to explain your actions to your spouse, your boss, and sometimes yourself.  As I mentioned the arrival of my daughter changed a lot of my responsibilities. I drastically scaled back my job duties and became a (mostly) stay at home mom. It is a very different sort of feeling.

Getting up and going to work every morning had previously been important to me.  I have been working since I was 15.  In those jobs, I tried to be on time, work hard, and always do my best.  Now some days I don't get out of my yoga pants or even leave the house.  My job now is infinitely more important to me - I am completely responsible for another person. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that.  I have the responsibility of teaching her to read and to count.  I keep her clean and fed and happy.  I will (hopefully) help mold her into the smart, strong, beautiful woman I know she is going to be.  That is a lot of responsibility - but so far it has been my favorite job ever. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to mind the yoga pants.

Her Daddy is going to have to teach her Geography though.  I was always terrible with Geography.