Calling Cards

In my grumble grumble more than I'd like to admit years as an adult I have never had actual business cards. I have had several positions in the "real" world that would necessitate them, but for some reason or another I never managed to actually have proper business cards printed with my name, fancy (sounding) title, and other pertinent info on it. So now in my new mommy life I certainly don't have that opportunity...or so I thought. I recently saw on another blog where Minted was offering 25 free(!) mommy cards (just pay shipping) and I couldn't resist. There is something so old fashioned and traditional about calling cards, and so modern about casually handing them out over sippy cups or gin and tonics chardonnay.

Picture from http://www.minted.com/

These are now on their way to the Lovely household. I'm ridiculously excited. After the Captain mocked me a little for lusting after the cards he finally came around when I explained to him how useful they could be. For instance, I'm still involved in several social organizations where business cards are needed; they are great for using when you meet new people and want to set up play dates and don't want to dig through your purse for a pen and scrap of paper; plus, they're really pretty (and did I mention free?). He couldn't argue with free. I'm also the kid who loved school supplies and organizing my back pack so I think a large part of my inner dork was involved in this purchase. Regardless, I can't wait for them to get here and have the opportunity to ambush another mom at story time and nonchalantly hand her one of these.

Picture from http://www.minted.com/

Breaks, or Mommy Guilt, Chapter 1

This is not the post I had intended to write today, or this week, or really ever.  In fact if you've noticed there has been an absence of posts for a week.  Part of the reason for my spotty posting is what I need to get off of my chest.  It is what has been in my head for the past few weeks and I thought maybe the best thing was to write it down, and maybe it would help me work through it.  I need a break.  Oh, dear merciful heaven, do I need one. 

I love my daughter more than I ever thought possible.  The moment the hospital staff put her into my arms, I was overcome with a depth and type of love I could never have imagined and cannot even begin to properly explain. I would do absolutely anything for her.  I cannot stand to be away from her for any length of time, but I am going to have to learn to occasionally for my own mental health.  The few hours that I work outside of our house each week I rush through so that I can get home to Baby Lovely.  The Captain and I have been on exactly two "date nights" since we became a family of three a little over five months ago - one was an anniversary dinner that we rushed through and the other was a movie (sans dinner). 

I had a fairly stressful job pre-mommyhood.  So when we decided that I would stay at home, for some reason I thought it would be an opportunity for me to de-stress and perhaps become a little less tightly wound. (Mothers, stop laughing.) I had a long list of all of the projects I would get done around the house.  Right now I'm just lucky we all have clean clothes to wear and nothing is growing in my sink.  Don't get me wrong - the rewards of sweet baby grins and coos beat a paycheck every day of the week for me.  What I had neglected to realize though is that when I left work most days I did just that - left it.  So far Baby Lovely doesn't come with that option (minus my overwhelming fear I'm going to leave her somewhere by accident.).

I am exhausted and burned out and I feel ridiculously guilty. I can't make everything balance and I am petrified to let anyone down or ask for help. I have been so tremendously blessed with a wonderful, sweet little girl that I  feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed.  She's just one baby, for heaven's sake.  I know that this stage will pass - I know that B.L. is growing up and growing more independent every day.  I know she won't require as much from me forever and I want to cherish every second.  I also know that like this I am not the woman I want to be though.  I'm going to have to ask for help.  I'm going to have to start going on dates with my husband again (this is not nearly as awful as it sounds.)  I have to remember that I am an individual and a wife and not simply a mommy.  I resolve to go on at least one date a month with my husband and have at least two hours a week just to myself - and hopefully find myself again somewhere in there.  Wish me luck.

Mommy Mondays, Part I

Babies come with a lot of accessories. As someone who has long enjoyed shopping, I thought this would be a fun (albeit expensive) endeavor. As a first time mom, I literally had no idea what I would need. We have several different large, chain, baby-focused stores here, as well as some wonderful, locally owned boutiques. I spent hours wandering aimlessly through all of them (as well as countless hours on the interwebs) and still had no idea what I truly needed. All of the stores were more than happy to instruct me, but I had serious doubts about how much of it would actually be useful. (The bottle drying rack that looked like grass? That was pretty tempting though.)

About a month before Baby Lovely arrived I called my mother, panic stricken. "You have to go to Giant Babyworld with me this weekend. I'm not readdyyy", I wailed. I could almost hear her amusement over the telephone, however she humored me and off we went with my American Express and a lengthy list of "must haves". Once we arrived I dragged my poor mother up and down each aisle to get her opinion on all of the items I supposedly could not live without, lest I fail motherhood. About the time we reached the humidifiers (hot air? cold? shaped like an elephant or duck?), my mother looked at me and said "babies are actually pretty simple. They need food, clothes, diapers, and a place to sleep. You'll figure everything else out."
Not wanting to believe her, I limited my purchases that day but ended up going back the following week to get a few more things that I thought I had to have. Do not try to reason with anyone who is 9 months pregnant. Seriously.

You know what happens next - Baby Lovely arrived, and lo and behold, I discovered that we didn't need a bunch of stuff. We needed very little, actually.  I spent hours researching the very best organic, non-toxic, PVC free crib mattresses. You know what happened? She hasn't spent a night in her crib yet.  Yep, we are those people - we co-sleep.  Did I always dream of bringing my baby home and sticking her in my bed? No, otherwise I would have saved all my time and money decorating her nursery.  Does it work for us right now? So far, and there is nothing wrong with that.  Whatever gets all of us the most sleep works for me.  I think we are going to try transitioning Baby Lovely to her room around the six month mark - that will make for several posts I'm sure.



Ignore the bird's nest in the corner.  They had their babies the week we came home from the hospital and I'm too sentimental to take it down. 

 PS - Please ignore the fact that my first Mommy Monday post is on a Tuesday.  I'm still working out the kinks of this blogging thing (and the whole motherhood thing.) 

London Calling

I've been thinking a lot about London recently.  First, because the riots there are currently all over the news. Second, good friends of ours in London just had their first child, a lovely little girl (congrats R&A!).  Third, I simply love London.  My first trip there was four years ago September, then we were fortunate enough to return just two years later.  I think my internal travel clock must think its time to go back. (International travel with an infant? No, thank you.)

First, the riots.  Although I am loathe to say that I am an Anglophile, the term fits.  I love the culture, the landscape, the accents, even the food.  It has been heartbreaking for me to watch such a wonderful old city be destroyed by its residents.  What causes a people to turn on their own Country? I know the political climate here in the U.S. has been strained (at best) recently, but I sincerely hope that we don't get to the same level of unrest and violence London is currently experiencing. 

London is an amazing city.  Just like so many large capital cities, it has its share of museums, art galleries, fabulous restaurants, and celebrities (anyone else watch Crazy About Pippa?). It also has something else - it has that certain je ne sais quoi that makes you want to keep going back.  It's foreign and comfortable at the same time. Romantic, historical, and did I mention the shopping? I'm a bit of a homebody and I love living near my family, but there are days that I would like to pack up and move to a flat in the heart of London or a little cottage in the country.  Until then, I guess it's off to watch Hugh Grant movies and dream.  Mind the gap, please. 

Parenting By Instinct (Alt. Title: Everyone is a Critic)

From the moment you discover you are expecting, your new life begins and you are subject to your first decisions as a parent. There are the early ones: what you eat, drink, and do can greatly affect the little creature you are incubating. Pregnant women are told to avoid a whole plethora of things - sushi, wine, certain cheeses - and encouraged to add prenatal vitamins, extra water and lots of fruit and veggies. Oh how I missed my soft cheeses. Any who...Pregnant women should also expect everything they do and everything that they put in their mouths to be subject to criticism. I ate (mostly) healthy foods when I was expecting Baby Lovely, however I did give in to the occasional fast food craving (and midnight bowl of cereal, or twelve. Ahem.) I remember being at work 38 weeks pregnant, having had a very stressful day, and going through the Wendy's drive-thru for lunch. While I was relishing my frosty and French fries at my desk one of the employees came into my office and commented how that wasn't good for the baby (this man was a good 75 lbs overweight, mind you.) And so it began...once the baby arrived it became much, much worse.

There are so many decisions that you will have to make as a parent, and it seems that literally everyone has an opinion on all of them. Scheduled c-section? Selfish. Natural childbirth? Unnecessary pain. Co-sleeping? Unsafe. Letting your child "cry it out" (or CIO for those in the know)? Cruel. Don't get me started on breastfeeding vs bottles. You don't have to solicit these opinions either. I have had several women ask me where Baby Lovely sleeps and if I breastfeed. This seems like a perfectly reasonable conversation to have with the woman behind me in line at Target, right? Yeah.

As Baby Lovely is our first, we have pretty much been figuring things out as we go. So far this is working for us - we have a healthy, happy baby and occasionally I get more than five hours of sleep. The only thing that all of my parenting decisions have had in common is that I have done what I thought felt right, even if it didn't follow "the book". I'm going to start a series on Mondays on some of these choices and how I arrived at them, whether or not they were on purpose. Let me put up this disclaimer now : these are only things that have worked for us, with Baby Lovely. Every baby is different, just like every parent.  Since no mommy post would be complete without a grinning infant, see below for my adorable, possibly teething spawn. 

No Giraffes were harmed in the taking of this picture

PS - I do have pictures where Baby Lovely is not in her exersaucer, it is just much easier to take pictures while she is contained.  That thing is great.

Lazy Sundays

I had a much longer post that Blogger decided to eat about halfway through...and this has turned out to be one of those lazy weekends where I lack the motivation to do much of anything. Baby Lovely's not so great sleep pattern was worse this weekend (I think she may be teething) and the dog days of summer have left me wanting to curl up on the couch for a nap. I promise to be back tomorrow with something slightly more interesting (or at least with gratuitous baby pictures).

Stranger Danger

Yesterday, while Baby Lovely and I were doing our weekly grocery shopping, the unthinkable happened. Some strange woman came up and tried to touch Baby Lovely's head! A little background : although many pregnant women are subjected to strangers trying to touch them, I managed to make it the entire nine months without any strangers trying to rub my belly.  I told the Captain I just sent out the "Don't touch me vibe" and everyone stayed away.  I don't mean friends and family - I had no problem with them wanting to feel her kick, however I am not a "touchy feely" person and I had no interest in being accosted by strangers. 

Imagine my surprise yesterday when we were in the grocery store and a middle aged woman made a beeline over to me and tried to rub the top of Baby Lovely's head! I carry her in an Ergo front carrier when we run errands so this woman was definitely invading personal space. I tried to sidestep her and stuck a protective Mommy elbow up.  Who does that? Seriously, is it OK to touch other people's babies? If you are over the age of 80 you get a pass (barely), but otherwise it is not OK in my book.  Thoughts?



Baby Lovely grocery shopping (without any strangers trying to touch her adorable bald head).